


Headache From Heaven

by phamnotof



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: BBC Radio 1, M/M, also no i've never seen mad men and yes i know you can probably tell i'm sorry, alternative universe, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7115011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phamnotof/pseuds/phamnotof
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meet cute. That’s it. They meet. They’re cute. There’s an underground injury and some radio bants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Headache From Heaven

Dan prides himself on being a good person. Relatively speaking. He's not one to jump in front of moving taxis to save weeping toddlers – not that he's ever gotten a chance to find out, thankfully – but as far as regular acts of good will go, he thinks he does fine. 

So when he's taking the underground to go to a meeting about a possible BBC Radio 1 job opening and sees a red-faced man running towards the train, clearly just few seconds short of being able to make it himself, Dan surprises himself with his reaction speed and stops the doors from closing completely, allowing the man to stumble in.

In hindsight, he probably should have used his foot for this particular act of good will. 

“Ouch,” he says, rubbing his somewhat wounded head.

“Thank you,” the man gets out gratefully, bent over and breathing heavily. “You didn't have to do that.” He politely does not comment on Dan's technique, thankfully.

“You're welcome,” Dan shrugs, now regretting his spur-of-the-moment decision even more. He's got a headache and is expected to make small talk? A good one, universe.

“No, really,” the man smiles, fixing his hair as if out of habit, and finally straightens his stance. “I'm Phil, by the way,” he sticks his hand out.

And Dan wants to think he doesn't gasp. Because that would be embarrassing. But he can't kid himself – because fuck, that man is gorgeous in a way his crappy posture, heavy breathing and a somewhat Northern accent simply couldn't prepare Dan for. His hair is black frames his face perfectly, he somehow has soft features that come off as masculine at the same time, and his eyes are possibly the loveliest shade of ocean blue on the whole planet.

Okay, universe. All is forgiven. You can stay.

“Dan,” he manages to get out, finally, and shakes Phil's hand. It feels lovely. He's fucked. 

Phil smiles at him and it's like sunshine after a rainy week. Dan thinks he can see a rainbow forming on the far right.

He' so fucked.

He bites his lip, manically struggling to think of what to say next that isn't 'Come here often?' because he doesn't think he's sunk quite that low. The seconds are ticking away and Dan knows that by every societal law on the planet, it's his turn to speak. He can see Phil reaching into his pocket for his phone and knows he needs to act now, because if there's a universal sign for I Am Done Talking To You, Thank You For Almost Decapitating Yourself For Me Though, it's taking your phone out.

“I- I've had my fair share of missing the subway by a millisecond, I figure it's good to put some positive karma out there,” Dan says in one breath.

“Oh,” Phil… smirks? Dan doesn't know the guy well enough to read his facial expressions for sure, but that definitely feels like a smirk rather than the first sunshine smile he got. “I didn't realize the blow to your head was drastic enough that you've turned into an American,” Phil mocks him, but there's no malice behind it, and Dan would almost consider humiliating himself some more just to see Phil's eyes sparkle like that again.

He's grateful that they've managed to find themselves in that weird lull of mid-day that occurs miraculously every other week, so there's only a handful of annoyed looking uni students and a few businessman glaring into their newspaper witnessing his squirming.

“I blame Mad Men reruns entirely,” Dan says with what he thinks is an impressively posh accent even for his Winnie the Pooh standards.

The show mention seems to catch Phil's attention more than anything. They spend good, solid few minutes discussing the series finale and Dan learns that Phil has a delightful appreciation for female characters and a good action sequence, if seems a bit baffled by Dan's Tumblr-esque meta analysis of the contextual meaning behind the shape of this one particular blood stain. He also learns that Phil laughs at his jokes and makes the most amazingly bad puns himself, and it he ties Dan's stomach up into these rather uncomfortable, exciting knots.

At the back of Dan's mind, there is an unfortunate awareness of the fact that he needs to get off the train for his really important, possibly life-changing job interview in a few minutes. That he is not tempted to blow off just to talk to Phil. At all. 

“The next stop his mine,” Dan says, apologetically.

“Oh,” Phil nods. “Of course. I usually get off here, too, actually, but I need to pick up some papers first today.”

“Oh,” Dan repeats. That's just his luck. “Well, it was nice talking to you, even if I had to almost lose my head to do it.”

“It was great talking to you, too. I'm glad you almost got your head cut off, too,” he smiles, and Dan hovers awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, just just about to bite the bullet and ask for Phil's number – or last name, at least, he's not above Facebook stalking – when the underground reaches Dan's destination and he only has time to wave awkwardly in Phil's general direction and yell out a rather pathetic “See you soon!” 

He won't, of course. Because London's only tiny when you're trying to avoid meeting ex-partners on a particularly bad hair day, not when you find yourself talking to a hot, nerdy guy on the underground and fail to get his phone number.

Dan sighs. It doesn't matter. He's got a chance to score a job at the actual BBC. That's today's missiom. If he doesn't fuck up, he could be on air next month. Considering the best thing about law school was student radio and he quit in his 3rd year to pursue it, only to find himself struggling to make rent for almost a year, that was a miracle.

Besides. Phil could be straight. He could be married. He could simply not be interested. Dan has other things to worry about. 

*

He gets lost on the way to the BBC. Twice. So sue him, he's only been living in London for a few months and going outside is an activity reserved largely for microwave popcorn emergencies. He thinks that if he makes it past the first round of the interview where they largely just talk job resumes and past experiences – nearly none, but Dan thinks he can spin what little he did accomplish into an attractive tale – then his battle with time and overwhelming crowds of tourists may even make a compelling tale for the second part.

In the end, he manages to forget to say half the things he was going to mention to make himself sound employable, but the two women interviewing him – Maggie and Allison – seem to take a liking to him. Dan likes them, they're both in their 40s and seem more interested in making heart eyes at one another than grilling him about his references. 

The job he's trying for is essentially play second fiddle in a new segment Radio 1 is creating in what seems a somewhat desperate grab for a younger audience. They've created a two-hour segment called the Internet Takeover in which a local internet celebrity – YouTube, Dan thinks, though you never know, maybe it's actually Pornhub, he doesn't know, he's forgotten his name the second after he applied for the job two weeks ago – takes calls from fans, plays games and talks all things #relatable. Dan thinks it's kind of perfect for him. And luckily, they seem to think a second host is needed, largely due to the fact that the 'Internet guy' has no prior experience doing radio and could use a second person to help out and occasionally joke around with.

The aim is to appear compatible, but not to overpower, either, because people won't be tuning in for him.

He's the last one to be called in, predictably, and his hands are shaking from the get go as literally everyone who walked out was smiling as if they've jut had the best orgasm of their life.

“Hi!” he says to nobody in particular, his eyes getting used to the surprisingly dark interior of the room. “I'm Dan,” he does a sort of uncomfortable salute, grateful that the man he assumes is the Internet celebrity is facing the other way.

“You weren't kidding when you said you'd see me soon,” the man turns around and - 

damn. 

“Phil?” Dan asks.

“Hi again,” Phil smiles, and Dan melts.

“Will you believe me when I say I didn't actually stalk you in here?” Dan says, rubbing his temple. 

“I mean…” Phil draws out. “It is a little suspicious, with you nearly sacrificing your life for me and all.”

“I wouldn't even know how to stalk you, really,” Dan laughs.

“Are you implying that's the only thing that was stopping you?”

“No way, I -” Dan shakes his head.

“Well that's a disappointment,” Phil winks at him, interrupting.

“I was going to say,” Dan continues, “that I also like to pretend I have morals. At least before the first date,” he tries, watching for Phil's reaction. He blushes adorably. Dan melts some more.

“Should we try the audition script then?” Phil asks.

Dan nods and wants to voice his enthusiastic agreement when someone speaks from the connecting room. “You mean to say that wasn't the audition?” a voice comes in from behind the seemingly bullet-proof glass. Dan recognizes Allison, one of the women who interviewed him earlier that day.

Phil laughs. “It does seem to work, doesn't it?” 

They do eventually, after a few more minutes of circling around each other and somehow agreeing to have coffee after to commemorate the day they found out that Dan's head is made of steel.

“Shall we then?” Phil asks when they're done, and Dan is feeling confident that he's not only bagged himself a job, but also a pretty incredible guy.

“Sure. As long as you promise we're not getting me fired before my first day for seducing my older, attractive colleague, abso-fucking-lutely.”

When Dan appears on Phil's YouTube channel for the first time a few months later, they share the whole story – minus the details of their after-coffee activities on Dan's couch, obviously – again with Phil's subscribers and the rest is just… history.

**Author's Note:**

> reblog on tumblr: http://pheelsamazinglynotonfire.tumblr.com/post/145517147030/fic-headache-from-heaven


End file.
